When we sit and start to list out what "describes us", we tend to just think about all of the hats that we wear. I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a Christian, a friend, a CPA, a full time housekeeper, a chauffer, a chef, a pet owner, a shoulder to cry on, an enforcer of discipline, a hug...the list is unending. I value all of those things, and also am so completely weighed down by them that I struggle with knowing what truly defines me. I become so focused on the definition of who I am that I miss out on enjoying the little things that make up those hats, the little things that have nothing to do with "a hat".
As a mom, I feel like the list of "what I do" is endless, which ultimately... it is. Before children getting to know someone I would always ask about the things they enjoy to do. As we get older and have kids that list shrinks as responsibilities come. Now with three kids under 5, that list seems to be non-existent, it's replaced with all of the things WE DO. How then do you juggle keeping who you are, what you enjoy, with defining yourself with what hat you are wearing today? How do you find the things you enjoy and make sure they don't just disappear into the things 'you do".
My week day consists of waking up to get myself and the kids ready and fed, dropping the kids off, working a full time job, picking the kids up, feeding them, bathing them, putting them down for bed, straightening the house (maybe doing a load of laundry), and then I normally hit the hay soon after that. By the time the day is done, before I go to sleep, I am so exhausted I have no time to think of what I want to do for "fun". Weekends are just as draining; I may not work Saturday and Sunday, but I put on the hat of a full time mom, housekeeper, chef, and entertainer. I love my time with my kids, and wouldn't give it up for the world (no matter how much I joke about it haha) but sometimes I wish I had more "me" time. I wish I had more times where I could remove my hats and just sit to enjoy not "doing".
What can we do then to not lose ourselves under the hats? It seems like something so easy as saying "SLOW DOWN" to our inner self. However, as we all know...that can solve it because we are stubborn human beings. My thought is set small goals, set things that may be "selfish" or things that you miss and commit to putting them back in your life! Again, not as simple to adopt as it is to put on paper, but it's a start.
I have tried to embrace this simple thought this year. I wanted to take something back from my disappearing list of what I enjoy. Ever since I was in elementary school I have loved to read. It is something so magical to be lost in a book. For 2022, I made a goal to read 50 books. I also have tried to commit time for socializing and discussing some of these books in a book club that meets once a month! I am proud to say that I have already read (or listened) to half of my goal for the year, and have been present at 2 book club meetings. It is a small step towards giving myself "me" time, but it is something that I am PROUD of. This goal is not defined by a hat I am wearing. This is just something I enjoy. It doesn't define me, or need to be listed in the description of "who I am" because it is strictly mine. Be selfish. Give yourself something that is just joy; that is just a piece of the little things that make up "you". Take off the hats that weigh you down once in a while and just BE.
XOXO
Ginger about to snap
